The past decade has solidified Halloween's position as the one holiday that squeezes even the most bashful of women into costumes fit for your local strip club. We love it, right? Barely dressed women surrounding us at every party; eye candy as far as we can see; yes, we love it. That was a dumb question. In fact, the man responsible for making this socially acceptable should receive a Nobel Peace Prize.His bloodline should be traced and his kin treated like kings.Or should they?
Yes, some women wear very eye-popping outfits on Halloween. However, our vision is clouded by sequins, ass and Velcro tails. The real scene is not actually seen. Some girls strive for that acceptable slutty costume and miss the big picture; costumes are meant to mimic someone or something else. Those are the ones you want to avoid.
The intricate, creative costumes are easy to spot. They feature complimentary makeup, jewelry and other accessories you can't get from a bag or box. The slutty, generic costumes are also easy to find. They feature crappy material that would catch fire if a cigarette was lit within two feet, broken buttons and zippers, and since it was most likely purchased at the local costume store an hour before, you'll likely see more than one girl with it on. It's cheap and focuses on the slut factor more than the creative factor. Those are the girls and costumes you want to avoid, and here’s why.
She isn’t really a slut
As mentioned, it is nearly mandatory for women to dress skimpy on Halloween. Even the hermit with powder-white skin caused by lack of sunlight is showing some blinding leg. Chances are the “slut” you’ve been eyeing across the party is exactly the opposite of what you originally thought. She’s dressed up because everyone else is, and she's itching to cover up whatever it is that creepy guy (you) is staring at from across the room.
Halloween is both pleasure and torture for us. Every girl puts herself out there, but she’s not really out there to put out. Even if they are, they all look the same and it’s impossible to tell which ones actually follow up on the promises their costumes make. That's where AM comes in, to clear up the confusion.
She has no creativity
It never fails; we see a nurse, devil and a cop costume at least three times at every Halloween party. It gets boring.
When a girl buys one of these off-the-shelf Halloween costumes, she’s throwing in the towel. It’s the 12th round and she’s defenseless up against the ropes. She’s letting someone else do the thinking for her. Not cool.
A rule of thumb: You get what you see. A generic costume gets worn by a generic girl. That’s true whether you’re looking for a girlfriend type on Halloween (bad idea) or just the Halloween hookup.
She has no taste
Once again, revealing does not, in any way, equal sexy. Costumes are meant to imitate something that we are not. If we have to ponder for 10 minutes how assless chaps and glittery cleavage come together to form a female Zorro costume, the fun is gone. Halloween is supposed to be fun and relaxing, not a brain-twisting Rubik’s.
Most costumes are very cheap. Buttons fall off, zippers split and most are available in only three sizes. They’re only meant to be worn once. Any woman who wants to wear the cheap costume from a bag really doesn’t have the sense of style to be one of your priorities for the night.
Instead, look for girls who put time into their costumes. Lock in on accessories like jewelry and Hollywood-style makeup. The girls that have the extravagant costumes and took time to put themselves together are the ones who really love Halloween. Those girls want to have the best time possible on October 31st, which could mean a lot of things.
She has no sexual imagination
This section could also be called, “she’s delusional.” In her head, she thinks the Little Bo Peep or Sexy Jungle Lady costume is actually sexy. Are you kidding? Those costumes are only considered sexy when the model on the cover of the bag it came in wore it. If this costume is her idea of sexy, she has a lot of catching up to do. We’ve seen a lot of movies that are sold behind curtains at the local convenience store, and the ones that feature Bo Peep are starting to collect a lot of dust.
It’s every man’s dream to have a woman with a sexual imagination even half as big as his. It would be nice to kick back and have the lady come up with something once in a while, ya know?
There’s no more surprise
If there are any women reading this, here’s a little hint to hook a guy: Let our imagination run a marathon. It kills us just guessing what things could look, feel and taste like.
Here’s your proof: What is your No. 1 rule of dating? Don’t have sex with the guy the first time you meet? Yes? Of course it is, because you know if you give it up right away, there’s nothing left to give. That leaves us uninterested and puts a stale stamp on the relationship.
The same applies to the Halloween costumes. The girl in the bra and thong with fishnet stockings really has nothing else to show. We’ve seen 98% of her body and her personality, even if she didn't mean to show that. There’s no fun in hunting a dead deer, and definitely no surprise.
halloween hoes
Picking up a girl on Halloween is like finding Waldo in a world full of hacky whored-out Waldos. They all look the same, but it takes a lot of investigating to find out which is genuine. Take the high road and don’t run after the girl who is pretty much naked. Chances are, that road has been traveled many times or it’s just a big canvas painting of a road and you’re yet to see the two guys carrying it across the screen. Be wise, and you'll have a great night after the party's over.
source: askmen.com
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