Thursday, December 3, 2009

Lessons Learned From Tiger Woods

by Dr. Manny Alvarez

As a man I can say — there’s no doubt about it, men do some crazy things. As a society, it seems as though we’ve become numb to the news of scandalous love affairs when it comes to politicians, celebrities and other public figures. But for some reason, the world stopped and held its breath while Tiger Woods addressed the media and finally admitted his infidelities. Is it because of his squeaky clean reputation as a world champion and role model? Do we feel “cheated” because of our societal obsession with celebrity? It’s unfortunate that something so personal and heartbreaking for his young family has to be put on display for the world to consume, but that’s the life he chose … isn’t it?

Just yesterday, my 10-year-old daughter asked me why Tiger Woods would cheat on his wife, and I didn’t have an answer for her. That got me thinking, there has to be some useful information within the media circus gaining speed while we anxiously await all the intimate details of his “transgressions.” So I talked to sex expert, Dr. Belisa Vranich to get some answers.

Q: Are men “wired” to cheat?
A: Being monogamous is an intellectual decision – men are wired to have lots of sex – whether they decide to have it with one woman or several women depends on their definitions of what’s acceptable.

Q: What constitutes cheating?
A: Each couple decides their own definition, not one universal definition. It’s very personal. For instance, one couple affairs outside of their zip code are acceptable, for another couple intercourse without kissing may be acceptable.

Q: What are some of the common reasons that people cheat?
A: Common reasons are: feeling neglected, bored, entitled. Those are the three most common reasons.

Q: Why is infidelity so rampant among people in the public eye?
A: They live lives that are more scrutinized…I don’t think they cheat more than the average person. When you are having an affair with the UPS guy, you don’t have headlines about it. They actually should be having less affairs because they are being watched so closely.

Q: What are some tips for people dealing with infidelity?
A: My take on it – the person that has been cheated on — realize that the person who was cheated on will have trust and anger issues for a very long time . . . the worst breach of the relationship is when it wasn’t one brief indiscretion, but rather an entire relationship that lasted for a long time. (If it’s an entire relationship, there were more lies attached to it.)


source: foxnews.com

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